i don't know the rules- dammit!
after what point in hanging out w/someone are you not allowed to hang out w/anyone else? when do you just assume the other person is only seeing you? is there a certain formula i am unaware of? for someone so genius, i am retarded sometimes.
basically, this is the dilema...you don't want to bring something up prematurely and freak the guy out (making him think you are writing your first name w/his last name on your journal or picking out baby names) but then again you don't want to wait until things get seemingly more intimate (making him think you couldn't care less about a relationship) & then find out down the road he's sleeping w/5 other chicks.
dammit, i don't know the rules about this kind of stuff. it seems like i am not on the same page with the other person so often that i don't take any initiative to turn it into something i desire. usually say nothing and just question what the other person is thinking. i never know how to bring stuff like that up.
thinking back to some of my ex bfs...it was usually an unspoken thing that just kinda developed. i don't really remember any type of discussion or anything regarding an "us" status (although i like black/white situations and would have perferred it that way). i do remember a few situations where the guy (as always) brought up a "what are we doing? where is this going?" type of convo. the first time was way too late, like 4 months into something i clearly took lightly and he was making baby plans. i felt bad as he exclaimed i "broke his heart" because i still wanted to see other guys an didn't want a bf. another time was way too soon, like one week into something that i was still trying to figure out if it fit me. i went along with it b/c i just didn't know how to be more assertive with my timeline. him professing his love to me after the 3rd week was just too much for me to take.
surely, all situations do not end up so horribly? there must be some sort of script people can follow to negotiate one level to another. as soon as someone writes it, please forward it to me because i have no clue.
after thinking it over, i have decided to do the following: nothing.
i welcome suggestions. until next time, readers...
basically, this is the dilema...you don't want to bring something up prematurely and freak the guy out (making him think you are writing your first name w/his last name on your journal or picking out baby names) but then again you don't want to wait until things get seemingly more intimate (making him think you couldn't care less about a relationship) & then find out down the road he's sleeping w/5 other chicks.
dammit, i don't know the rules about this kind of stuff. it seems like i am not on the same page with the other person so often that i don't take any initiative to turn it into something i desire. usually say nothing and just question what the other person is thinking. i never know how to bring stuff like that up.
thinking back to some of my ex bfs...it was usually an unspoken thing that just kinda developed. i don't really remember any type of discussion or anything regarding an "us" status (although i like black/white situations and would have perferred it that way). i do remember a few situations where the guy (as always) brought up a "what are we doing? where is this going?" type of convo. the first time was way too late, like 4 months into something i clearly took lightly and he was making baby plans. i felt bad as he exclaimed i "broke his heart" because i still wanted to see other guys an didn't want a bf. another time was way too soon, like one week into something that i was still trying to figure out if it fit me. i went along with it b/c i just didn't know how to be more assertive with my timeline. him professing his love to me after the 3rd week was just too much for me to take.
surely, all situations do not end up so horribly? there must be some sort of script people can follow to negotiate one level to another. as soon as someone writes it, please forward it to me because i have no clue.
after thinking it over, i have decided to do the following: nothing.
i welcome suggestions. until next time, readers...
posted by issuegirl at 7:27 PM
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