the thrill is gone
ironic... it really sunk in while actually listening to a dude belt out "the thrill is gone" at a jazz bar. i had to break it to the guy i just wasn't into it any more. i wished i could have just dedicated that song to him and got the fuck out of the bar...no such luck. i felt the knot in my stomach, since i knew what i had to tell him and i knew how yuck i always feel about talking about my feelings and all that girl shit.
what happened with us??? i can't put my finger on it. it started just slowly becoming boring, i think.
our first like 4 dates were fantastic! he was complimentary, romatic, funny and charming. slowly (MUCH too early into things) it seems as if he started "relaxing". *sigh* no hand holding, no "you look great" but still doing the talking-about-the-future thing (ex. "this summer, i'll have to take you to the lake"). wtf? i need to be romanced at least a little longer than a month!
the last straw came when i went over to his house last week and i kinda knew that it was expected i slept with him. plus, i was still into him enough to give it a try. mayday! mayday! the sex was not good. no way could this go any further if the guy can't even get me wet. so after an akward exchange, we settled in to watch a movie in bed. god, anything to not have to look at him, i was so embarassed. i was really sick that night, so i was feeling pretty barfy. when i grabbed his hand to pull his arm over me (fuck- i just want some sympathy when i'm sick) he pulls it away, stating, "i'm just not that into cuddling". excuse the fuck out of me? i didn't ask for the full on gross-me-out snuggling...just an arm on my back while i struggled not to puke in his bed. that statement right there was what sealed his fate.
in addition, i really missed that last guy. i have been kinda seeing him for the entire time, who knows what we are doing. at that moment, i wished i was with the other guy because he would have been getting me soup and petting my head not acting as if i had the plague.
one more problem i had to deal with. he had bought tickets to a show in my town for a week after i knew i was over it. i felt obligated to go, for fear of being thought of as a bitch if i backed out. i figured i'd go and try my hardest to have a fun time.
i can best sum up the date as the longest akward silence i've ever experienced. we ate a very rushed dinner in almost comlpete silence. i welcomed the comedy show as a relief from having to strain to make conversation. we went to a jazz club after, where i watched the band and tried to compose the words in my head, "this isn't working, i think we should stop seeing each other".
i have never claimed to have great timing. i blurted that out right as we were going to sleep (no touching, nothing romantic at all happened all evening). he looked shocked. huh?! how?!?! *rolling eyes* he asked i wanted him to leave, i told him no because i didn't dislike him i just didn't think dating was the best idea. he slept half off the bed. in the morning, he got dressed in record speed and hurried the fuck out of my apartment mumbling "i'll call you later".
damn, another one bites the dust.
what happened with us??? i can't put my finger on it. it started just slowly becoming boring, i think.
our first like 4 dates were fantastic! he was complimentary, romatic, funny and charming. slowly (MUCH too early into things) it seems as if he started "relaxing". *sigh* no hand holding, no "you look great" but still doing the talking-about-the-future thing (ex. "this summer, i'll have to take you to the lake"). wtf? i need to be romanced at least a little longer than a month!
the last straw came when i went over to his house last week and i kinda knew that it was expected i slept with him. plus, i was still into him enough to give it a try. mayday! mayday! the sex was not good. no way could this go any further if the guy can't even get me wet. so after an akward exchange, we settled in to watch a movie in bed. god, anything to not have to look at him, i was so embarassed. i was really sick that night, so i was feeling pretty barfy. when i grabbed his hand to pull his arm over me (fuck- i just want some sympathy when i'm sick) he pulls it away, stating, "i'm just not that into cuddling". excuse the fuck out of me? i didn't ask for the full on gross-me-out snuggling...just an arm on my back while i struggled not to puke in his bed. that statement right there was what sealed his fate.
in addition, i really missed that last guy. i have been kinda seeing him for the entire time, who knows what we are doing. at that moment, i wished i was with the other guy because he would have been getting me soup and petting my head not acting as if i had the plague.
one more problem i had to deal with. he had bought tickets to a show in my town for a week after i knew i was over it. i felt obligated to go, for fear of being thought of as a bitch if i backed out. i figured i'd go and try my hardest to have a fun time.
i can best sum up the date as the longest akward silence i've ever experienced. we ate a very rushed dinner in almost comlpete silence. i welcomed the comedy show as a relief from having to strain to make conversation. we went to a jazz club after, where i watched the band and tried to compose the words in my head, "this isn't working, i think we should stop seeing each other".
i have never claimed to have great timing. i blurted that out right as we were going to sleep (no touching, nothing romantic at all happened all evening). he looked shocked. huh?! how?!?! *rolling eyes* he asked i wanted him to leave, i told him no because i didn't dislike him i just didn't think dating was the best idea. he slept half off the bed. in the morning, he got dressed in record speed and hurried the fuck out of my apartment mumbling "i'll call you later".
damn, another one bites the dust.
posted by issuegirl at 10:51 AM
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