part 2

UGHHHH!! I DON'T want to be thinking of the ex, when there is nothing I can do about it. (I guess there's nothing anyone can ever do after a break up except try to move on the best way possible.) I mean, I don't even want him. Why have I been obsessing about him lately?

Last night, I had this gross dream that we got back together & things were going great for a while. Then he broke up w/me...again. That killed me. In my dream I was so pathetic...crying, screaming and begging him to take me back- actions I would never do in "real life" (well, maybe the crying part).

WTF am I doing thinking SO much about a guy I don't even want and I can't give a shit about guys I should be wanting? Perhaps it is because I really never got any closure from the relationship (fucker broke up with me over THE PHONE after 6 yrs). I'm confused. Maybe just a little hung over. I think I'll sleep this one off & hope I wake up with better thoughts in my nutty head.