me minus theatre
"do you miss it?", the guy asked when the subject of me performing surfaced.
"yes. very much.", i replied a little uneasy with the thoughts of my past life.
"why don't you get back into it? i'm sure you were really good if you had so much success in it." he shrugged.
"it's complicated. i will someday, no doubt. i still have to be in rent." as i said that, i wondered what the fuck was i waiting for. what is in my way that is preventing me from doing one of my main passions?
it made me stop and think last night, turning a getting-to-know-you conversation into a dark sensitive one. i am not uncomfortable talking about anything. my feeling is that, if after you hear what i think and you don't like me, you can hit the road. i am staying true to myself. but he did seem to wince when i told him my reasons for stopping. this said to a guy who makes his living hosting a talk show on the radio (lucky bastard!). i guess the idea of theatre for your living is not out of the question to him, as it seems it is now to me. what happened to the 23 year old i was, who thought i was going to win a tony by age 30? or my day job would consist of being a princess at disneyland. or being a whatever-i-feel-like by day and super star singer at night? ahh...
so, yes, i miss it. i got sidetracked by the idea that singing/performing is not a "grownup" way to make a living. life interupted my performing for a little while & know i'm getting back on track to do more of what i love in my life & less of what i don't. i have just recently admitted to myself that i missed theatre/performing completely. one more thing to add to my already full life.
so in a radical step, i quit my day job. it was draining all my energy & focus i should be directly at other things. for some reason, i don't do anything slow or easy. i jump off the deep end. this is the motivation i need to make my business fly so i can live the life i want at night. it's sink or swim time now, baby. shit, i have vinyl pants to wear!
"slowly but surely" has never been my motto.
rent (joanne, mark, maureen)
UPDATE: in the week after this convo took place, i have signed up for dance lessons & gone on an audition! i'm on the right track. :)
"yes. very much.", i replied a little uneasy with the thoughts of my past life.
"why don't you get back into it? i'm sure you were really good if you had so much success in it." he shrugged.
"it's complicated. i will someday, no doubt. i still have to be in rent." as i said that, i wondered what the fuck was i waiting for. what is in my way that is preventing me from doing one of my main passions?
it made me stop and think last night, turning a getting-to-know-you conversation into a dark sensitive one. i am not uncomfortable talking about anything. my feeling is that, if after you hear what i think and you don't like me, you can hit the road. i am staying true to myself. but he did seem to wince when i told him my reasons for stopping. this said to a guy who makes his living hosting a talk show on the radio (lucky bastard!). i guess the idea of theatre for your living is not out of the question to him, as it seems it is now to me. what happened to the 23 year old i was, who thought i was going to win a tony by age 30? or my day job would consist of being a princess at disneyland. or being a whatever-i-feel-like by day and super star singer at night? ahh...
so, yes, i miss it. i got sidetracked by the idea that singing/performing is not a "grownup" way to make a living. life interupted my performing for a little while & know i'm getting back on track to do more of what i love in my life & less of what i don't. i have just recently admitted to myself that i missed theatre/performing completely. one more thing to add to my already full life.
so in a radical step, i quit my day job. it was draining all my energy & focus i should be directly at other things. for some reason, i don't do anything slow or easy. i jump off the deep end. this is the motivation i need to make my business fly so i can live the life i want at night. it's sink or swim time now, baby. shit, i have vinyl pants to wear!
"slowly but surely" has never been my motto.
rent (joanne, mark, maureen)
UPDATE: in the week after this convo took place, i have signed up for dance lessons & gone on an audition! i'm on the right track. :)
posted by issuegirl at 10:11 AM
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