i suck

ya, pretty much. i suck.

i wish i could say i suck *literally*, yet that aspect of my life has been sadly dry as of late.

nope, i only *figuratively* suck. i haven't posted anything lately. i haven't had much to say.

i have not been interested in men, to say the least. i'm still sorting out the feelings left in the wake of the tidelwave that was my ex. he's still here and there in my life, as much as i try to pull away...sometimes i just keep getting sucked back in.

fuck! i go back and forth from love to hate, sometimes all in the same minute. why does he have to call? why am i so stupid i answer??? part of me says i still love him (yet, have NO interest in being with him) and part of me is curious on what he has to say and part of me is flattered that he still has feelings for me.

i'm a stupid girl sometimes, i completely admit this.

i guess i should get off my semi-heartbroken ass and write some more, ya think?