i feel so dirty

i arrive home today from work to find my one pair of panties casually tossed on top of my laptop. where have these been? i have been looking for months! considering my preference for sans panty dressing, it's not like i can miss the ONE pair i have.

for those interested it's a pink leopard print thong from victoria's secret. the reason i have saved just one pair is that occasionally the skirt i'm wearing is too short for me to be that scandalous during the day. anyway...

they were found by houseboy when he was cleaning out the water heater shed (that is creepily right outside my bedroom window). he did not find them just out in the open, oh no! he found them behind the recently-fired gardener's water bottle and the bug killer. meaning, these were obviously left there by the gardener sometime during the last few months that i have been staying here. who knows WHAT he was doing to my poor pink panties.

when i put the pieces together i screamed out loud for at least a minute, in between my dry heaving & repeating "no fucking way" over and over. WTF?! i feel so molested.

my questions are these: when/how did he take my panties? what was he doing with them? ok, nevermind...i'm just going to pretend it's all a bad BAD dream.

and for you pervs out there- the panties were CLEAN!!!