men of 2005

Men of 2005

Yawn! As 2005 is slowly winding down, I have been looking back semi-fondly at what adventures this year has brought me in the man dept. As I recap, a puzzled look comes over my face. What the hell have I been doing this last year? It certainly hasn't been hordes of gorgeous men (much to my dismay!). Alas, men have really been my last priority this year (see previously blogs)...I guess that is my sorry half-assed excuse to the readers for not having anything more scandalous to report. I apologize. Let me make it up to you over a beer...On to the men, shall we?

(In no particular order)

Mr. TV actor/Media Exec (no shit- he has TWO cool jobs)...ah, what can be said about this guy that his website doesn't already cover? He took me to Vegas earlier this year, which was...well...Vegas, baby. We had "dated" (uh, you know what that is code for) last year a couple rounds (between his press junkets, confrences, traveling the world, etc.)...the Vegas trip got him out of my system. After the excitement of private parties, VIP concerts, meeting bigshot execs and getting the royal treatment from hanging with a "celeb" in the electronics world died down I realized I had ZERO in common with this guy I had idolized for so many month previously. The way it came about though, was one of those moments that I highly reccomend every girl to have at least ONCE in her life. I was in LA for work and he called- "Hey, Toots, get on a plane to Vegas. Corner penthouse suite at THE hotel, all expense paid." I said "I'll see you in an hour".

Mr. Fancy Pants. Yes, my gfs and I affectionately call this guy that, but never to his face. He makes WAY too much money to be taken seriously as a bf. I was not impressed by the Benz (I would have been if he had let me drive it) or apartment off the Embarcadero. It takes more than $$$ to get *this* chica.

The Ice Cream Man (aka Regional for a major ice cream company). Soooo hot, sooo not my type. He'd call when he was in town, take me out, have some fun (dinner, bar hopping...the usual) and that was that. Last time he called I faked being too busy. I just didn't have the heart to tell him I wasn't into it.

The Poptart. Ahhh there's something about a 25 year old guy that is paralel to the breakfast pastry. Yummy, but not that good for you. This does not stop you from indulging once in a while. To hell with my diet!!!

The Best Friend. Hands down the MOST amazing guy I've ever met, yet never dated. I think the world of him. He knows everything about me...except what I look like naked. My gfs like to pretend it's a chick flick waiting to happen. I just say it's cool to always have a back-up date in case mine flakes. UPDATE: Uh, um, ya...it was bound to happen. Can't stop the inevitable attraction. Guess men & women *can't* be friends w/out some form of nakedness getting involved. Shit!

The Owner of the Black Lab. Ok, ya...we never dated. In fact, we never even met. You probably have never even looked at me. I just put you on the list because you are so damn cute! Every time I take my two mini-dogs to the dog park, there you are with Lola your black lab puppy. I wear sunglasses, so I can stare unnoticed. My fav is when you wear the tanktop and I get to drool over your well-defined arms. Sometimes you are with a ratty haired blonde (ew, hopefully not your gf). You have even come into my work...but what could I say...uh, hi Lola's dad? I'm Sprite's mom. Ok, I'll stop now- since I'm sounding like a stalker. UPDATE: I saw this guy at the bar I worked at. When I walked by my disappointment was realized when I would have had to lean down to kiss him. Damn. He looked a lot taller across the park.

The actor. Dammit! He's just soooo hot. I know we have no future together...but the chemistry! It's not often I find a guy who can steam up my Jeep's windows.

Now for the LOSERS of the year...

The guy who threw a fit b/c I wouldn't kiss him on the first date. Ewwww real attractive. He went so far to insult my social skills claiming I had no other friends other than my dog, so I should be glad he was willing to go out with me. Um no thanks.

The guy whos ex-gf emailed me like 10 times. Hey- chick, I have NO interest in your man. Why not save time and just call him? I don't even know his middle name & you think I know shit about where he is?

The lawyer. He likes to email or call once in a while, ask what's up and then get pissy if I say I'm seeing anyone. I'm not sure if he really really get the fact that WE BROKE UP like two years ago!!!

Oh so many more, too numerous to mention. Bad dates galore. On the good side, I'd like to say thanks to: the male workers at Trader Joes (who always check me out & the one dude for saying I look "hella pretty" even when I don't have any makeup on), Gary from the dog park (for the comment on how men on he Peninsula must be blind if they don't notice how cute I am), all the many adorable old men customers who tried to fix me up w/their sons, the dude from my work who created a new name for me (SandiBeautiful- all one word), and my best bud Stever (for thinking I'm cute when I roll out of bed- even when he's not drunk off port wine). Also a BIG thanks to the gents who ask me out at work...even thought I graciously say no thank you, remeber you are doing a great service by boosting my ego. Thank you Mr. Guy-who-hits-on-the-bartender!!!

(Raising a beer)Here's hoping that 2006 will have more fun in store!

PS Don't worry, there is less than a month left till 2006...I sure as hell hope I have some more guys to write about. (That's your hint guys).